18-year-old wants 22 and 25-year-old deadbeat family members to crash at her and her boyfriend's apartment, boyfriend puts his foot down: 'They cannot stay baby. I'm sorry.'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Aug 6, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Family isn't always easy to deal with. And I'll take "Understatements of the Century" for 200, Alex. Family is everything. They teach us how to exist in the world and show us who we are. But sometimes we're born into difficult situations. You didn't do anything to "deserve" it, but here you are, trying to make the best out of it. 

But no matter how hard you work on yourself, you can't control the actions of others, no matter how much you might wish you could. You could be sailing along, living your best life, and suddenly have a family emergency thrust upon you that you certainly didn't ask for. This is one of the inevitabilities of life. What you can control, though, is how you respond to it. You have ultimate autonomy over the way that you react to a situation, even when it's a difficult one. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10538921216
    via Maxim Tolchinskiy

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The man in this story was caught in the crossfire between his girlfriend and her own tough family situation. She wanted to be a good sister and help out her brothers, but her boyfriend saw it for what it was-- them trying to take advantage of her. So he tried to step in, but faced some pushback. Read on for the story and see what you think. 

  • 02

    Girlfriend's family members trying to move into house...

    iMessage Today 1:37 PM They cannot stay baby. I'm sorry. They will overextend their stay and if that does end up happening I will have to resort to getting physical and removing them myself, and their financial situations are not of your issue. They are grown men who were given a chance in life to develop a support system for themselves. They flunked around in highschool and didn't get their diplomas and they won't go out to get any type of job to pitch in with rent at your sisters. They are not
    via u/upoffmeds
  • 03
    Me (18) and my girlfriend (19) live in a 2Br 2Bth Apartment. We have been living here for about 8 months. We both have good stable jobs and carry our weight equally and successfully. The reason we moved out so young is because my girlfriend lived in a very crowded house and did not feel wanted in her household. She
    via u/upoffmeds
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    babysat kids, Dogs and Cleaned her entire house and they made her feel horribly. So i strived to get a place early so she can feel more wanted and appreciated in her household. Me and my girlfriend never have an issue with splitting up bills, rent and costs. I cover ALL rent costs including Rent, Water, Gas and Electricity. She pays for WIFI and
    via u/upoffmeds
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    phone bills and mostly pays for groceries (The rest of her money is for her to spend on whatever she likes) Anyways For the 8 months we've lived here We've never had an issue at all, No major arguments or conflict. It's perfect. I love it here with her. Until...
    via u/upoffmeds
  • 06
    My girlfriend has a LOT of cousins and siblings living with her. They are deadbeats. they live in the Basement of her older sisters home, no Diploma, No job, No ged no plan to support themselves Just sit around gaming On the VR and sleeping all day eating all the snacks for her sisters children. (Mainly her brothers) (22YRO and 25YRO)
    via u/upoffmeds
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    Basically both of her brothers were recently kicked to the curb by her sister and they're BEGGING to move into our spot for just a week until they "get back on their feet" but they literally have no WAY to get back on their feet. I know this will go from One week, to 3 week to months.
    via u/upoffmeds
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    My Girlfriend is very scared of "hurting peoples feelings", "Letting people down" and "Saying No" We have been arguing about letting them come stay
    via u/upoffmeds
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    My argument is basically: NO, I do not want your brothers here because i know for a fact they'll overextend their stay and end up eating all of our stuff and just loathing around doing nothing. I also know that if they decide to stay, They will not leave when asks. They are that type of person. It will get physical and violent and I'll be forced to physically removing them from our house.
    via u/upoffmeds
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    Her argument is: Yes, They are my family, Regardless of them not having any plan to support themselves. My brother (22) Has au sm and learning disa ities and it was not his fault he could not graduate. It's only for a week until they find jobs and get off their feet. What do I do? Here's the message that I sent her today before sending this here.
    via u/upoffmeds
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    Cheezburger Image 10538921984
    via Djim Loic

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 12

    Commenters had a lot to say about his decision to step in.

    zerosolution1031 • 2d ago You are in the right. You have ground to stand on that you pay most of the bills and regardless even if it was split down the middle you BOTH live there. One person doesn't get jurisdiction over the area in that situation. Hold your ground, I know you are young and might be
    via u/zerosolution1031
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    intimidated by them being older (maybe not I don't know you) but don't budge on this. Your house will become a nightmare and you will end up breaking up, paying penalties on leaving the lease early and your life will be worse and you'll be alone having to start over while the freeloaders will just go be slobs on another couch without any repercussions
    via u/zerosolution1031
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    Clandestinethought- · 2d ago • Stay strong brutha don't cave in. Stand ground.
    via u/Clandestinethought
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    No_Towel_2001 • 2d ago There is an unspoken piece by her that likely needs you to be firm and say No. She knows No is correct but doesn't want to say it. You have to do it for the both of you.
    via u/No_Towel_2001
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    Sekmet19 • 2d ago They have no plan to get back on their feet. It will not be 'just a week'. They will mooch off you until you physically have to remove them. If they make a claim that they are renters, which they might, you will need to pursue legal options (ie eviction) to remove them as well which will be expensive and time consuming.
    via u/Sekmet19
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    Explain to your girlfriend that they need tough love right now. They f ed around and now are in the find out phase. This might be the kick in the a they need to start being responsible. However if they know they can just find another person to mooch off of they will never learn. Let them sleep outside for a week and then they will have this magic plan to 'get back on their feet'.
    via u/Sekmet19
  • 18
    filkerdave 2d ago • Stand your ground. Be prepared to move out if she lets them move in.
    via u/filkerdave
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    qbee198505 · 2d ago If y'all were to let them move in, the day they did would be the beginning of the end of your relationship. You two would constantly be at odds because she would make excuses for them, you would become more frustrated until it built into resentment. That would be the end of you two being together. Hold your ground. She needs to accept that being family means nothing with people who do not value her as a person.
    via u/qbee198505
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    • Western-Trade860 2d ago You're a smart guy.. this would ruin your relationship if you don't stand your ground
    via u/Western-Trade860
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    upoffmeds OP · 2d ago Also, before they moved in with her sister, They loathed around with my girlfriend's mother in her house for YEARS. My girlfriends mother had to have them physically removed from her house because she kicked them out and they would not leave. That is why they live with my girlfriend's sister.
    via u/upoffmeds
  • 22
    twistedteets · 2d ago • Change the locks and lock the windows
    via u/twistedteets
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    Interesting-Gas8823 2d ago • Stick to your words trust me!! | allowed family to move in and was robbed of everything but the kitchen sink it seemed. No they didn't complete high school nor get ged's, they've never held a job for 30 days. There in their mid 30s now with absolutely nothing going for them. Please don't make my mistakes. Ill be thinking of you.
    via u/Interesting-Gas8823
  • 24
    Apprehensive_Coat384 2d ago . Don't do it! If they haven't found a job by the age of 22 and 25 then they're def not gonna find one in a week/month. Tell your gf to stop being naive and get with the program. They're trying to play her and when things go belly up she's gonna expect you to figure it out to get them out.
    via u/Apprehensive_Coat384
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    MiloPudding 2d ago • I'm very impressed with you and how you're setting boundaries at only 18 too. You're so right OP!
    via u/MiloPudding
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    Big_Enos 2d ago For an 18 year old, your text to her showed your maturity and ability to see the big picture. Your right on with all of it!
    via u/Big_Enos
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    upoffmeds OP.2d ago UPDATE ON THE SITUATION: We talked about in person over lunch and After a long time of convincing and talking to each other, She understood that their financial situation is not of her issue. She feels really bad and is mostly scared they're going to harm us as retaliation for not giving them a place to stay (They have done that to her mother and sister multiple
    via u/upoffmeds
  • 28
    times) (One time the 22Yro with au sm threw a rock in my girlfriends sister window after being asked to get a job with the ultimatum that he would be kicked out if not) We have it all resolved. They will not be moving into our house at all and Honestly, I'm pretty scared they're gonna try to harm us or do something in retaliation for not giving them a place to stay.
    via u/upoffmeds
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    Her brothers have expressed that they do not like me over the years. I don't really own any weapons or anything to defend my house so.. There's that. But we are all good. She was understanding of my point of view with the help of you guys. everything's good.
    via u/upoffmeds

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long term relationship relationship advice family drama aita relationship relationship status brother teenagers siblings relationship-drama reddit story relationships story sister reddit thread Reddit unemployed healthy relationship
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